Take a moment and think about what you've said to yourself today.
Was it kind? Or did your inner voice criticise, judge, or put you down?
Now, reflect on how you felt after having that internal chat. Did your mood lower?
It’s pretty eye-opening when we realise how much influence our thoughts have on our emotions.
The conversations we have in our heads shape how we see ourselves, how we respond to life’s challenges, and even how we carry ourselves. So, what happens when these inner dialogues turn negative? Let’s dive into two common culprits: self-stigma and negative self-talk - and how Meditation can help us flip the script and create transformation from within.
What is Negative Self-Talk?
We all have that inner voice. Sometimes, it’s like a little coach, nudging us toward our goals, reminding us to stay on track. “Hey, you probably don’t need that extra slice of cake,” it might whisper.
Sometimes our inner voice is genuinely helpful to stay out of trouble or stop us from making a bad decision.
But more often than not, that voice transforms into a harsh critic, pointing out every tiny misstep we take. It goes from being a coach to a bully, fast!
Here’s an example: You make a small mistake at work. Instead of letting it go or learning from it, your mind spirals:
"I didn’t say the right thing."
"I never say the right thing."
"Everyone must think I’m an idiot."
"No wonder I don’t have friends."
Sound familiar? This is classic negative self-talk. It feeds on self-doubt and insecurity, turning small moments into huge problems. The more we focus on these negative thoughts, the more we convince ourselves that we’re incapable, unworthy, or destined to fail. Over time, this can drain our motivation and make us feel helpless or even depressed.
But here's the thing: negative self-talk isn't just about beating yourself up. For some people, these thoughts can also become a way to justify unhealthy or even harmful behaviors.
It’s a cycle that needs to be broken, and that’s where Mindfulness and Meditation come in.
What is Self-Stigma?
Now, let’s talk about self-stigma. This is when negative beliefs or shame are so deeply internalized that they become part of our identity. Maybe you’ve made a mistake in the past, or perhaps society has made you feel like you don’t belong. Maybe a traumatic event has changed the way you feel about yourself.
Over time, you start to believe your negative self-talk and absorb the messages, and they turn into a part of who you think you are.
For example:
"I’m not good enough."
"I’m broken."
"I’ll never succeed because of who I am."
These thoughts can be toxic. When we’re trapped in self-stigma, we criticize ourselves relentlessly, feeling unworthy of love, success, or even basic kindness. It can destroy self-esteem, keep us from achieving our goals, and leave us stuck in a place of shame and regret.
How Meditation Can Help
The good news? You can break free from these patterns, and Meditation is a powerful tool to help you do just that. When we meditate, we become aware of our thoughts without judgment. Instead of getting swept up in that spiral of negativity, we simply observe the thoughts as they come and go. Think of it as stepping outside yourself for a moment and seeing those negative voices for what they are - simply thoughts, not truths.
Here’s why Meditation works:
Awareness: You start noticing how often your inner critic shows up. Sometimes just becoming aware of negative self-talk can shift your relationship to it. Whatever we observe, changes. So simply by observing our thoughts, we start on the path of changing them.
Detachment: Instead of identifying with your thoughts (for example “I am not good enough”), you begin to see them as passing clouds - temporary, fleeting, and not a reflection of who you are.
Compassion: Meditation also cultivates self-compassion. Instead of beating yourself up over every little mistake, you start to treat yourself with kindness and offer the same compassion and understanding to yourself that you would offer to a friend.
Rewriting the Script: Once you create space between yourself and those negative thoughts, you can begin to replace them with positive affirmations and beliefs that lift you up instead of pull you down.
I like to say that they are 'old records' playing in the background of your life. If we can notice and identify these old records then we are better equipped to change the negative self talk and record new records such as "I have so much to offer".
Try This: A Simple Meditation to Calm the Inner Critic
Ready to give it a try? Here’s a short meditation practice to help quiet the inner critic and ease self-stigma.
Find a quiet spot where you won’t be disturbed for a few minutes.
Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths.
As you breathe, bring to mind any negative thoughts or self-critical words you’ve been telling yourself. Notice how they make you feel, but don’t engage with them - just simply observe.
Now, imagine these thoughts as clouds in the sky. As they come up, let them drift by with each breath. There’s no need to hold onto them; just let them float past like clouds.
With each breath, silently repeat to yourself: “I am enough. I am deserving of love and kindness.”
Continue this for a few minutes, breathing deeply and release any negativity with each exhale.
When you're ready, gently open your eyes and take a moment to notice how you feel.
On Reflection...
By practising this regularly, you will retrain your mind to speak to yourself with love, compassion, and kindness. Over time, you will find that the inner critic quietens, and your sense of self-worth strengthens.
Remember, change takes time. But with a consistent Meditation practice, you’ll soon discover that the negative voices no longer control your story. Instead, you find moments of peace and contentment with a deeper connection to your true self - the part of you that KNOWS that you are worthy, you are whole, and you are enough just as you are!
Don't miss this moment.
And don't forget, if you ever need help or to speak to someone about what you are going through, you can text "SHOUT" to 85258 and make use of this free service to speak to someone.
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